“Beware of jealousy, my lord! It’s a green-eyed monster that makes fun of the victims it devours.” – Othello A3,S3. Shakespeare.
It’s really easy to look at someone else and feel jealous. Perhaps they have better skin or a better body than you. Or maybe they have an amazing wardrobe and you don’t. Maybe they won something you wanted to win.
Even within the pinup community I have seen several girls be jealous of others. Jealousy is a normal feeling, but it shouldn’t consume you to the point where it breaks you. It’s important to remember that everyone starts their journey at the beginning; there’s no point being jealous of someone who has been working for several years towards a goal where as you have only just started. We all learn and grow at different rates and that’s completely fine.
There is no point me being jealous of someone like Dita Von Teese. With all her years of experience, she deserves to be where she is in life. And wanting to be someone else means that you aren’t allowing yourself to be the best you can. Don’t try to be someone else, be yourself. Always. Jealousy is an ugly things and it won’t bring you any happiness.
Sometimes you just can’t help it though. If you do start feeling jealous, try the following things:
Take a deep breath; don’t fly off the handle and start yelling and getting angry. Try taking a few deep breaths until you calm down a little. Take time to collect your thoughts even if it takes a few days. It may be worth switching off social media for a day or two especially when you see people you are jealous of online.
Don’t attack; it’s ok to talk to someone about what’s bothering you but don’t start exaggerating, getting angry and blowing things out of proportion. You don’t want to run the risk of looking petty or pathetic.
Talk to someone you trust; don’t criticize, stay true to yourself and avoid being negative. It’s ok to feel this way, but don’t let the feeling consume you. It may be worth talking to the person you’re jealous of – perhaps they can help you learn their skills or they can share some tips to get you on your way. Maybe they are not as bad a person as you originally thought. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
Get motivated; find exactly what it is that you are jealous about and turn it into motivation. I remember looking at Instagram models with their perfect eyeliner and I felt jealous I couldn’t do my makeup, so I decided I would take the time to learn how to draw winged eyeliner on myself. It took me a while but now I find it quite easy. See if you can find a way to master the skill you are jealous of. There is always a way to learn something new.
Look at your similarities; we are all different, but we all have lots of similarities. You may be jealous of someone’s wardrobe but instead of feeling sad, try looking for things you share in common. Perhaps you both have similar taste in shoes, or enjoy the same movies. By finding things your share in a person you’re jealous of, you can start to see that you to are an awesome person.
Let go; This can go two ways, 1)Delete the person off your social media and don’t let them bother you and try not to think about them as best you can. If you see them out and about don’t make a drama out of it and just carry on with your day.
2) let go of the idea; if you are jealous of someone’s body for example, maybe realize you have a different body shape and its unrealistic to aim to get something you cant have. Learn to love yourself just how you are. Use jealousy as a motivator but don’t let it consume you.
Realise what’s amazing and uniquely yours. Find it, and project it to the world. Be the best version of yourself and not a copy of anyone else.
My jealousy anthem: